This is what growing old looks like from the back!!!!!!

(laughing with you)!!! ~~~~~ Fran~~~~~~~~

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old.

I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old.

Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be.

Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt.

And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 a.m. and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 40 &50's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free.

I like the person I have become.

I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (if I feel like it) Author Unknown

That Little Penny in the Parking Lot

Remember this every time you pass that little penny in the parking lot.

I always thought that it was for good luck, but I love this version better

.I found a penny today laying on the ground.

But it's not just a penny, this little coin I've found.

Found pennies come from heaven, that's what my Grandpa told me.

He said Angels toss them down.

Oh, how I loved that story.

He said when an Angel misses you, they toss a penny down; Sometimes just to cheer you up, to make a smile out of your frown.

So, don't pass by that penny when you're feeling blue.

It may be a penny from heaven that an Angel's tossed to you.

So now pass this on to people you care about and who you feel are Angels to you.

I just did.

An Angel is now watching over you.

Have A Great Day! ~~~~ Fran~~~~~~~

HELLO TO EVERY ONE WHO VISITS ,, MAYBE YOU WONDERED WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?? (MAYBE NOT!) WE HAVE HAD A FAMILY EMERGENCY AND IT HAS TAKEN UP MOST OF MY TIME,,AND WILL FOR SOME TIME. SO, I WILL
GET BACK HERE WHEN EVER I CAN,,
YOU ALL TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES,,
LOVE ONE ANOTHER, SOME TIMES THAT IS NOT ALWAYS POSSIBLE (I KNOW IT TO BE TRUE) DO THE BEST YOU CAN,,, KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THE MAN UP STAIRS!
HOPEFULLY HE IS LOOKING OUT FOR US,,
THERE MUST BE A PLAN,
BUT OH BOY, IF I CAN SEE IT FROM HERE! ~~~~~~~~~~ FRAN !!!!!!!

Wishing every one a very happy Easter!
Let it be a blessed one for every one,, and ask for the Lord to bless the guys and gals over in this DAMN war, and ask for it to be over soon and get the military back home to the U S A where they belong with their families !!!!!!! Fran

Please take the time to read this one,,, it might save your life.... there are some STRANGE people out there... do not let them hurt or take advantage of you.
Copy it and sent it to your friends!!!I did!!! FRAN


BEWARE OF PAPER IN THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE
NEW WAY TO DO CAR JACKINGS (NOT A JOKE)
Heads up everyone!
Please, keep this circulating...You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. You start the engine and shift into Reverse.
When you look into the rear view mirror to back out of your parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window. So, you shift into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view. When you reach the back of your car, that is when the car jackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off. They practically mow you down as they speed off in your car. And guess what, ladies?
I bet your purse is still in the car. So now the carjacker has your car, your home address, your money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are now compromised!
BEWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED....
If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just drive away. Remove the paper later. And be thankful that you read this e-mail.
I hope you will forward this to friends and family, especially to women.
A purse contains all kinds of personal information and identification documents, and you certainly do NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands. Please keep this going.

Hello, to every one who visits,,
here is another one of those beautiful things,,
that someone made for others to enjoy,,
I wonder if they know how much we DO enjoy seeing them?
Please turn you speakers on , so you can hear the music.
~~~~~~~~~ Fran





Click here: The Best Day of My Life

This is the best I have gotten from an email in ages,, had to share it with you all, dare you not to laugh!!!!


http://joe-ks.com/archives_may2005/Elastic_Baby.htm


-love these little guys also,,,, Fran

TO ALL, HERE IS ANOTHER SITE FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT,,
BE SURE TO TURN YOUR SPEAKERS ON,,,,,,
,, FRAN



http://www.frontiernet.net/~jimdandy/specials/blessed.htm

To all. be sure to turn your speakers on when looking at the site I have listed below!


http://www.frontiernet.net/~jimdandy/specials/life/life.htm

Enjoy!!! Fran

Please check out this web site,, you will enjoy it,,,


http://www.frontiernet.net/~jimdandy/specials/life/life.htm

Fran

Hello,, to you all,, now this is the funniest,, ( if there is such a word) I have read in a VERY LONG time!!!
If this does not make you laugh, then you better get your funny bone looked at!!!



LEARNING TO CUSS
A 6-year-old and 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what?" says the 6 year-old. "I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval.
The 6-year-old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with 'hell' and you say something with 'ass.' The 4-year-old agrees with enthusiasm.

When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step.
She locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay in there until I let you out."

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?

"I don't know," he blubbers, " but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios."

Well, Hello, every one,,
the birthday has past and I am going into my 72 year,, I think I will put my thoughts here occasionally. I was talking with a gal I have know almost all my adult life(adult being from about 12 years old until now. ) we were talking about how life was in the late 1948's and early 50's when we were in high school. and how we wished we could go back and relive those days,,,we are old people now,,,, but looking back we didn't realize how good we had it.
Although we didn't have much,, like some of the kids we went to school with. It didn't matter then. In my freshman year a senior boy took a likening to me,,Bill was his name,, I never could figure out why,, but he did my algebra home work every morning and got it to me before the class, and some of the other boys copied it from me.. we all passed thanks to "BILL"! we only had a couple dates but we seen one another every day at school . But, his sister finally broke us up because he was a senior, and me a lowly freshman,,, He was the nicest, and best looking boy !!! (god I was lucky!!) But that year after graduation, he joined the Marines, only to be killed that Sept... I was heartbroken, I had seen him that summer because I got the nerve up to call him when he was home on leave,,that was the bravest thing I did at that time, but I was very glad I did it,,,
Well, this is one of my stories,, I might give you more later Fran

To those who are from, or have been from Jersey, you know what all this means. To those of you who have not had the pleasure, read and enjoy!
I f you've ever lived in Jersey ...you'll appreciate this!!!
New Jersey is a peninsula.
Highlands, New Jersey has the highest elevation along the entire eastern seaboard, from Maine to Florida .
New Jersey is the only state where all of its counties are classified as metropolitan areas.
New Jersey has more race horses than Kentucky .
New Jersey has more Cubans in Union City (1 sq mi.) than Havana , Cuba .
New Jersey has the densest system of highways and railroads in the US .
New Jersey has the highest cost of living.
New Jersey has the highest cost of auto insurance.
New Jersey has the highest property taxes in the nation.
New Jersey has the most diners in the world and is sometimes referred to as the "Diner Capital of the World."
New Jersey is home to the original Mystery Pork Parts Club (no, not Spam): Taylor Ham or Pork Roll. Home to the less mysterious but the best Italian hot dogs and Italian sausage w/peppers and onions.
North Jersey has the most shopping malls in one area in the world, with seven major shopping malls in a 25 square mile radius.
New Jersey is home to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island . The Passaic River was the site of the first submarine ride by inventor John P. Holland New Jersey has 50+ resort cities & towns; some of the nation's most famous: Asbury Park, Wildwood, Atlantic City, Seaside Heights, Long Branch, Cape May.
New Jersey has the most stringent testing along our coastline for water quality control than any other seaboard state in the entire country.
New Jersey is a leading technology & industrial state and is the largest chemical producing state in the nation when you include pharmaceuticals.
Jersey tomatoes are known the world over as being the best you can buy.
New Jersey is the world leader in blueberry and cranberry production (and here you thought Massachusetts ?)
Here's to New Jersey - the toast of the country! In 1642, the first brewery in America , opened in Hoboken .
New Jersey rocks! The famous Les Paul invented the first solid body electric guitar in Mahwah, in 1940.
New Jersey is a major seaport state with the largest seaport in the US , located in Elizabeth . Nearly 80 percent of what our nation imports comes through Elizabeth Seaport first. New Jersey is home to one of the nation's busiest airports (in Newark ), Liberty International. George Washington slept here. Several important Revolutionary War battles were fought on New Jersey soil, led by General George Washington.
The light bulb, phonograph (record player), and motion picture projector, were invented by Thomas Edison in his Menlo Park , NJ , laboratory. We also boast the first town ever lit by incandescent bulbs.
The first seaplane was built in Keyport , NJ . The first airmail (to Chicago ) was started from Keyport , NJ . The first phonograph records were made in Camden , NJ
New Jersey was home to the Miss America Pageant held in Atlantic City. The game Monopoly, played all over the world, named the streets on its playing board after the actual streets in Atlantic City. And, Atlantic City has the longest boardwalk in the world, not to mention salt water taffy.
New Jersey has the largest petroleum containment area outside of the Middle East countries. The first Indian reservation was in New Jersey , in the Watchung Mountains New Jersey has the tallest water-tower in the world. ( Union , NJ !!!) New Jersey had the first medical center, in Jersey City The Pulaski SkyWay, from Jersey City to Newark , was the first skyway highway. NJ built the first tunnel under a river, the Hudson ( Holland Tunnel). The first baseball game was played in Hoboken , NJ , which is also the birthplace of Frank Sinatra. The first intercollegiate football game was played in New Brunswick in 1889 ( Rutgers College played Princeton ).
The first drive-in movie theater was opened in Camden , NJ , (but they're all gone now!). New Jersey is home to both of " NEW YORK 'S" pro football teams! The first radio station and broadcast was in Paterson , NJ . The first FM radio broadcast was made from Alpine, NJ, by Maj. Thomas Armstrong.
All New Jersey natives: Sal Martorano, Jack Nicholson, Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Jason Alexander, Queen Latifah, Susan Sarandon, Connie Francis, Shaq, Judy Blume, Aaron Burr, Joan Robertson, Ken Kross, Dionne Warwick, Sarah Vaughn, Budd Abbott, Lou Costello, Alan Ginsberg, Norman Mailer, Marilynn McCoo, Flip Wilson, Alexander Hamilton, Whitney Houston, Eddie Money, Linda McElroy, Eileen Donnelly, Grover Cleveland, Woodrow Wilson, Walt Whitman, Jerry Lewis, Tom Cruise, Joyce Kilmer, Bruce Willis, Caesar Romero, Lauryn Hill, Ice-T, Nick Adams, Nathan Lane, Sandra Dee, Danny DeVito, Richard Conti, Joe Pesci, Joe Piscopo, Joe DePasquale, Robert Blake, John Forsythe, Meryl Streep, Loretta Swit, Norman Lloyd, Paul Simon, Jerry Herman, Gorden McCrae, Kevin Spacey, John Travolta, Phyllis Newman, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Eva Marie Saint, Elisabeth Shue, Zebulon Pike, James Fennimore Cooper, Admiral Wm.Halsey,Jr., Dave Thomas (Wendy's), William Carlos Williams, Ray Liotta, Robert Wuhl, Bob Reyers, Paul Robeson, Ernie Kovacs, Joseph Macchia, Kelly Ripa, Wayne Noah Richardson, and, of course, Francis Albert Sinatra and "Uncle Floyd" Vivino. The Great Falls in Paterson , on the Passaic River , is the 2nd highest waterfall on the East Coast of the US . You know you're from Jersey when . . You don't think of fruit when people mention "The Oranges." You know that it's called Great Adventure, not Six Flags. A good, quick breakfast is a hard roll with butter. You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven. You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 A.M. You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery. At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know the town Jon Bon Jovi is from. You know what a "jug handle" is. You know that WaWa is a convenience store. You know that the state isn't all farmland You know that there are no "beaches" in New Jersey --there's the shore--and you don't go "to the shore," you go "down the shore." And when you are there, you're not "at the shore"; you are "down the shore." You know how to properly negotiate a circle. You knew that the last sentence had to do with driving. You know that this is the only "New" state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (try . . Mexico . . York ..! . . Hampshire-- doesn't work, does it?). You know that a " White Castle " is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich. You consider putting mayo on a corned beef sandwich a sacrilege. You don't think "What exit?" is very funny. You know that people from the 609 area code are "a little different." Yes they are! You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton --that's for out-of-staters. The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar. You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers. Every year you have at least one kid in your class named Tony. You know the location of every clip shown in the Sopranos opening credits. You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of the mall.
You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights , and people from Central Jersey go to Belmar, and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood. It can be no other way.
You weren't raised in New Jersey --you were raised in either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey . You don't consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state.
You remember the stores Korvette's, Two Guys, Rickel's, Channel, Bamberger's and Orbach's. You also remember Palisades Amusement Park . You've had a boardwalk cheese steak and vinegar fries.
You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.
And finally . . . You've NEVER, NEVER NEVER, EVER pumped your own gas.
All this from a gal from New Jersey!!!! Fran

Lookee here!
Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like doing something nice for someone you care for?
THAT'S GOD talking to you through the Holy Spirit.
Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to talk to?
THAT'S GOD wanting you to talk to Him.
Have you ever been thinking about somebody that you haven't seen in a long time and then next thing you know you see them or receive a phone call from them?
THAT'S GOD. There is no such thing as coincidence. Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn't even ask for, like money in the mail, a debt that had mysteriously been cleared, or a coupon to a department store where you had just seen something you needed, but couldn't afford?
THAT'S GOD knowing the desires of your heart. Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it was going to get better, how the hurting would stop, how the pain would ease, but now you look back on it. ..
THAT'S GOD passing us through tribulation to see a brighter day. Do you think that this e-mail was accidentally sent to you?
NO!I was thinking of you! ! Keep this going. You have no idea which one of Your e-mail buddies could use a little hope today
Dear God...I know you're watching over me And I'm feeling truly blest For no matter what I pray for You always know what's best! I have this circle of E-mail friends, Who mean a lot to me; Some days I "send" and "send," At other times, I let them be. I am so blessed to have these friends, With whom I've grown so close; So this little poem I dedicate to them, Because to me they are the "Most"!When I see each name download, And view the message they've sent; I know they've thought of me that day, And "well wishes" were their intent.
So to you, my friends, I would like to say, Thank you for being a part; Of all my daily contacts, This comes right from my heart.
God bless you all is my prayer today, I'm honored to call you "friend"; I pray God will keep you safe, Until we write again... send this this to your freinds, because maybe they need to talk to HIM also,, FRAN

GOOD MORNING!!
I say this because this is the first day of my 72nd year. So I should be happy to be writing this!!
I never thought I would be here at this time of life.
My Mother died at 49 years old and my Father died at the age of 58. Although my grandmother (on my mothers side) lived to be 98 , she was a feisty lady!
When I think of all the things that I have lived to see,,I grew up in the early 50's , when life was great(we know that now) lived for the Friday night 's At the skating rink. a friend says she wishes we could go back to those days... AH...YES!! We walked to school, from when we live in the town of Glassboro NJ, but we were healthy and happy,, they were the greatest days.
Then I went to work at the New Jersey Bell telephone com, what a wonderful job we had for the times,, and so much fun. We were so full of fun and fancy free, no worries, no cares. As long as I had a date for Saturday night , I was happy. After I got a car,, didn't need dates , went with friends, ROLLER SKATING was LIFE!!
Then marriage,,of which I have had 46 happy years, raised 5 kids, I think they turned out well,
my hubby and I are doing okay.
Then I think of the things that have happened in my life time,, I remember the bombing of Pearl Harbor, my Dad was shaving I was watching (about 5 years old) and hearing about it on the radio, my parents were really upset know to this day I do not like to swim in the ocean, because I heard when I was little the bodies from blown up ships were floating up in the water at the shore,, I also remember when the war was over, all the shouting and I was allowed to go out side and bag on pots!! sounds silly now!!
There was the deaths of presidents..
. Then My baby Sister was born 1945, Marie ,my brother Steve was born in 1949 (?),
Then KCW and I got married 1961
Later years we watched the landing on the moon,,the kids was sick with the chicken pocks when JFK was killed in Dallas, we were watching the TV when ( right now I forget his Name) the guy who shot Kenny got killed.
So, as I sit here writing this ,,I think , "girl you have lived a long time"but there is this little spot in my head that wants to tell me I am still the 16 year old who lived to have fun and roller skate,
I wonder if I will be here next year to write " another year has gone by" who knows some of my friends have gone, almost all my relatives. Although I still have some good friends still hanging on!!
So, I hope you enjoy reading about someone else's life,, if you are young enjoy life and if you are my age,,, well get the most out of what is left you can,,, I am, thanks for visiting here*** Fran

Why God made Moms --
BRILLIANT Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions!!
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He Just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mom?
1. We're related
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day lon g.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.
I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it
.My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once was.
I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.
My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it --
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter...
..either my radiator leaks

or my exhaust backfires!

Subject: Don't break the elastic Good for a laugh and maybe some wisdom In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70 birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.And, there on television, she said it was "exciting." Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day...like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see whichwill reach her waist, first.
The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words! Maya Angelou said this: "I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad itseems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."
"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."
"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."

"I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life." "I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.""I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.""I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision." "I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.""I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."
"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn." "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Please send this to five phenomenal women today. If you do, something good will happen: You will boostanother woman's self-esteem. If you don't...the elastic will break and your underpants will fall down around your ankles! Believe me, I didn't take any chances on MY elastic breaking....I sent it to a lot of special women I care for.
What a wonderful lady,,,we all can learn something from her,,,, FRAN

Subject: Purina Diet

I have a Labrador Retriever and I was buying a large bag of Purina at Walmart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
(DUH!) On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting The Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
( I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no;
I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
She had to ASK, didn't she ? (laughing)