Friday, February 12, 2010


NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true!!!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010





BEWARE OF THAT UNDERWEAR DUST!!!!!!


One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast.'


Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!


'His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.


The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.


'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.'


April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?


'She replied with a snicker.


'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!! !




You guys just never learn, do not tick off the woman.
COME ON YOU HAVE TO SMILE,,
BESIDES ITS SNOWING LIKE HELL HERE A BLIZZARD , THEY SAY,,,
SO,, BE HAPPY! FRAN

Monday, February 01, 2010







A FARMER DECIDED HE WANTED TO GO TO TOWN AND SEE A MOVIE.THE TICKET AGENT ASKED,"SIR, WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER?"

THE OLD FARMER SAID, "THAT'S MY PET ROOSTER CHUCK. WHEREVER I GO, CHUCK GOES."


"I'M SORRY SIR," SAID THE TICKET AGENT. "WE CAN'T ALLOW ANIMALS IN THE THEATER."


THE OLD FARMER WENT AROUND THE CORNER AND STUFFED CHUCK DOWN HIS OVERALLS.


THEN HE RETURNED TO THE BOOTH, BOUGHT A TICKET, AND ENTERED THE THEATER.


HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO TWO OLD WIDOWS NAMED MILDRED AND MARGE.






THE MOVIE STARTED AND THE ROOSTER BEGAN TO SQUIRM. THE OLD FARMER UNBUTTONED HIS FLY SO CHUCK COULD STICK HIS HEAD OUT AND WATCH THE MOVIE.


"MARGE," WHISPERED MILDRED."WHAT?" SAID MARGE."I THINK THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS A PERVERT."


"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?" ASKED MARGE?


"HE UNDID HIS PANTS AND HE HAS HIS THING OUT", WHISPERED MILDRED


."WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT", SAID MARGE..


"AT OUR AGE WE'VE SEEN 'EM ALL""I THOUGHT SO TOO", SAID MILDRED,


"BUT THIS ONE'S EATIN' MY POPCORN!"
Think of this when you go to the movies!!!!
COME ON PUT A SMILE ON YOU FACE, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!!! fRAN