THREE NUNS WERE ATTENDING A HOCKEY GAME.

THREE MEN WERE SITTING DIRECTLY BEHIND. BECAUSE THEIR HABITS WERE PARTIALLY BLOCKING THE VIEW,
THE MEN DECIDED TO BADGER THE NUNS HOPING THAT THEY'D GET ANNOYED ENOUGH TO MOVE TO ANOTHER AREA.
IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SAID, "I THINK I'M GOING TO MOVE TO UTAH; THERE ARE ONLY 100 NUNS LIVING THERE."
THEN THE SECOND GUY SPOKE UP AND SAID, "I WANT TO GO TO MONTANA ; THERE ARE ONLY 5O NUNS LIVING THERE."
THE THIRD GUY SAID, "I WANT TO GO TO IDAHO ; THERE ARE ONLY 25 NUNS LIVING THERE. "
ONE OF THE NUNS TURNED AROUND,
LOOKED AT THE MEN, AND IN A VERY SWEET AND CALM VOICE SAID,
"WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL .
THERE AREN'T ANY NUNS THERE."

I am still laughing,, this is one of the best ones yet!!!
Where do people think of these things,,, FRAN

Proud to forward this to all my Jersey Girls! (And warn you Jersey Guys!)

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.The first man had married a woman from Illinois and
had told her that she was going to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the
third day he came home to see a clean house and disheswashed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Michigan. Hehad given his wife orders that she was to do all the
cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he
didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was
better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean,the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner onthe table.
The third man had married a beautiful girl from NewJersey. He told her that her duties were to keep the
house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry
washed and hot meals on the table for every meal.
He said the first day he didn't see anything,
the second day he didn't see anything,
but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a
sandwich and load the dishwasher.

Have a great day!Keep in touch!
JUST BECAUSE I'M A JERSEY GAL,,, I THINK THIS ONE IS GREAT!!!

*********** The Good Husband ************
*********** *************
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all.
He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table; and, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spot lessly clean.
So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.
Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove... I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. All my love, Jillian
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...What happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over th e coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT!...
Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time...
PRICELESS!!!

YOU GOT TO LOVE THIS ONE!!!!!! FRAN

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!!

Yep! I passed it on...
I'm sorry, but after hearing they want
to sing OUR National Anthem in Spanish - enough is enough!

NEVER did they sing it in Italian,
Japanese, Polish, Irish-Celtic, German, Portuguese, Greek, French, or any other language because of immigration.
It was written by Francis Scott Key and should be sung word for word the way it
was written. The news broadcasts
gave a translation that's NOT even close.
Sorry if this offends anyone, but this is

THIS IS MY COUNTRY!
Do YOU - sing MY
National Anthem in YOUR COUNTRY
IN ENGLISH ? ? ?


And, because I make this statement
DOES NOT mean I'm against immigration!!!

YOU ARE WELCOME HERE IN MY COUNTRY.

Welcome to come through like
everyone else has.

Get a sponsor !
Get a place to lay your head !
Get a job !
Live by OUR rules !
Pay YOUR taxes !

And
LEARN THE LANGUAGE
LIKE ALL OTHER IMMIGRANTS HAVE
IN THE PAST!!!

AND PLEASE DON'T DEMAND THAT WE HAND OVER OUR LIFETIME SAVINGS OF SOCIAL SECURITY FUNDS TO YOU
TO MAKE UP FOR ''YOUR'' LOSSES.

If you don't want to forward this
for fear of offending someone, then
YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM!When will AMERICAN'S STOP giving away THEIR RIGHTS???

We've gone so far the other way,
bent over backwards not to
offend anyone.

But it seems no one cares about the AMERICAN
that's being offended!

WAKE UP America !!!

If you agree - pass this on... FRAN

Hi Buddy






HAPPY BUDDIES DAY!!!

Forward to all your friends, including me.
And don't tell me you're too busy for this.
Don't you know the phrase "stop and smell the flowers"?
See how many "bouquets" you end up with!
Happiness Keeps You Sweet,
Trials Keep You Strong,

Sorrows Keep You Human,
Failures Keep You Humble,

Success Keeps You Glowing,


But Only God Keeps You Going!
You are so special!
Today is "Online Buddy Day".

Have a great day now, Ok.

Have a very happy and SAFE week of the FOUTH OF JULY!!!!