Thursday, May 25, 2006

WANT A LAUGH??????

As he hadn't been there for a while, one evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over.
He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up, he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator.

"Moral: Some old men can still think fast.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Definitions that make sense!

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are bornand after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed
.WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.

--I finally got it all together, now I can't remember what I did with it!!

Friday, May 12, 2006

Hello, to every one,, I would like to wish all Mothers,,
Grand mothers,
Sisters,
Aunts, and just all ladies every where, a very HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.
Please do not be up set if you do not hear from your kids, I don't .

I do not think I am alone, they talk on TV, how much is spent,,
I find it hard to believe , kids today, care little about this sort of thing.
So, I am sending best wishes out to you, where ever you are,

We did our part now let the world have them, or let them have the world.
What ever ! RIGHT! Don't shed a tear, they will not.
God bless the Mothers who have kids that do remeber them.
Happy Mothers day,,,,,,,,,, Fran


Monday, May 08, 2006

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION . "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL . "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC . " Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT . "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY . "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM . "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother! taught me about STAMINA . "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER . "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY . "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE . "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION . "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY . "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE . "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP . "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR . "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS . "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS . "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WIS DOM . "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." And my favorite:
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE . "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

From My Computer To Yours..............

Think of a letter between A and W.
Repeat it out loud as you scroll down.
Don't stop .. ..

Think of an Animal that begins with that letter.
Repeat it out loud as you scroll down.
Think of either a man's/woman's name that begins with the last letter in the animals name.
Almost there........

Now count out the letters in that name on the fingers of the hand you are not using to scroll down.
Take the hand you counted with and hold it out In front of you at face level
.Look at your palm very closely and notice the lines in yourhand.
Do the lines take the form of the first letter in the persons name?!
Of course not.......
Now TAKE THAT HAND and smack yourself in the head, get a life, and quit playing stupid e-mail games!

Monday, May 01, 2006

Beautifully Stated
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to
ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
~anonymous~>
I think these are good words to live by. Give some one you love a hug to night, Fran

Sunday, April 23, 2006

BITCHOLOGY
When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch
. When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch
. When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.
Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart.
It means I live my life MY way.
It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.
When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.
The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish. It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that! So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.
You won't succeed. And if that makes me a bitch, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman
B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything
Send this to 5 women to put a smile on their face!!
"If you can't do something right, get a woman to do it."

Friday, April 21, 2006

http://grandmothers-attic.blogspot.com./
Today I was so happy when I opened my emails,, I really had some one tell me they had read my blog!!!
Thank you " Norma," ,you really made my day. Yes , I am a mother, grandmother ,, you know what a 71 year old is, but I have tryed not to lose my sense of humor,, and I love making these blogs,,I have a couple more if you would like to check them out,,
http://grandpacars.blogspot.com/ and http://grandmothers-attic.blogspot.com./
I try to keep them just as funny.
Any way not to bad for an "old Gal'' who had not touched a PC until 3 yaers ago??
To every one who reads these blogs,, enjoy,, and take care of yourselves, and be nice to one another ....Fran

Thursday, April 20, 2006

SENIOR DRESS CODE
Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 60, WAY over 60, or hovering near60) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves.
We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct aswe try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets,the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:
>> > 1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

YOU have to laugh!! It will do you good !! Fran












10. Bikinis and liver spots> >
11. Short shorts and varicose veins> >
12. Inline skates and a walker> > And last, but not least . . my personal favorite:> >
13. Thongs and Depends

You have to love it,,,, Laugh ,, it will do you good ,,, fran

Wednesday, April 12, 2006


On Frday April 8 2006 ,,my Uncle Sam wenthome to the Lords house..He was a man who could fix any thing,,worked hard all of his life. With my Aunt Esther,they spent 65 years together.
We will all miss him very much,, but since he was very sick, I know he is in a much better place,, Bless his soul and let him rest in Peace.

I will wish you all a Happy Easter or Passover , which ever you celebrate, with your family's . That is the most important thing,,
As with Uncle Sam,, we never know about tomorrow..
Take care of yourselves and others you love........... Fran

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Hello, to every one reading this..
I think I have figured out why not to many people read my blog,,,,I am not nasty, fowl mouthed, have no nude pictures!! I thought these blogs were for people to have fun, talk to others, start discussions. "Ha Ha" was I surprised.
I went to check out other blogs,, I was some what shocked at the content,, I do not know how they can put stuff like this on a place for every one to read,,
Please, maybe I am old fashion, but , sorry , you will not see stuff like that here (laughing)
so, now I know why I do not get many hits.. but thank you to the people who do drop in,,
I am just having fun with this ,,,,I have some thoughts about the state of the nation but I do not think any one would want to hear it!! But if you really want to, let me know! Fran

Friday, March 24, 2006

THIS IS A LOVELY ZEBRA CLOCK I HAVE LISTED ON MY GRANDMOTHERS ATTIC, BLOG SPOT, CHECK IT OUT!!
Hello to every one!!! sorry I have not been on here, but I have been working on the other blogs,, of which I hope you will go visit. please book mark these blogs , so you can keep up with what we are doing. As I have said before my sister Marie is the brains , I just do most of the writing, ( I guess I am the one with the gift of gab ( laughing) ) so I will give you the other blog spots also. they are like big internet yard sales, check them out and you will see.
www.//grandpacars.blogspot.com/
www.//grandmothers-attic.blogspot.com./ book mark these!!
Thank you to all who have visited, it is good to know some one out there is interested ..
have a great week end Fran

Friday, March 17, 2006

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!
Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once.
TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW We need more butter
. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL!
I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking!
Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?
Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!" The wife stared at him.
"What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I m driving."
You have to LOVE this one!!(laughing) does it remind you of some one???
I don't THINK I am that bad!! And I am not going to ask!!

Monday, March 13, 2006

A HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY TO EVERY ONE,, IRISH OR NOT... EVERY ONE IS IRISH ON THAT DAY.
NOW THE STORMS IN THE MIDWEST,
PLEASE SAY A PRAYER FOR THEM. IT MUST BE AWFUL TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THAT.
MAYBE WE SHOULD SAY A PRAYER FOR EVERY ONE ,, BEFORE THE GOOD LORD TURNS HIS BACK ON US .. I KNOW THAT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN, BUT WITH WHAT EVERY THING THAT HAS HAPPENED OVER THE PAST YEAR,, I AM NOT TO SURE. SO JUST IN CASE, I SAY ONE FOR THE WHOLE COUNRTY EVERY NIGHT.
COULDN'T HURT?? RIGHT??? WELL, THATS ABOUT IT FOR THIS NIGHT, TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELVES,
I'LL CATCH YOU LATER FRAN

Friday, March 10, 2006

Hello to every one... we are having wonderful weather in this part of the country. In the 70,s.
This really has been a nice winter,,,
Now the yard sales are starting, and the craft shows, are staring also.
Towns are staing to have their fun days..I have plans of starting ,yet, another craft project!
I'll tell you about later when I get it all together. I have tried just about every thing in the last 15 years.(laughing) I have to hit something , people will like and pay for, one of these years!!
Well, wrestling just came on so, I got to go!! (just love the westling shows) catch you later Fran

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Good evening to every one.... sorry I have not been here lately,, things have not been good with me.
But I guess I should be happy to be here today as yesterday was my 71 st birthday. So I have out lived my Mother and Father, not my Grandmother, who lived to be 98 years old!!!
As an older person and lived all these years , I would like to say to all you gals out there who ,never had any children... do not feel bad, Please,, you are probably the lucky ones.
Motherhood is not always what it is cracked up to be.. trust me on this one!
Do I sound bitter?? Well, I am, out of five I have two that are what I consider the best in the world. The others,,,well,,,,,,the less said the better.
And I am talking about grown good productive adults. Sorry ,you all, right now my heart is about broken, if such a thing can be,, but I'll get through it,, I always have and will this time,,
so, you all take care and call your Mom and tell her you love her, she needs that sometimes..
catch you later Fran

Thursday, February 23, 2006


THE BACK YARD FAIRY LAND,,, WHEN WE HAVE A SNOW LIKE THE ONE WE JUST HAD, MY YARD LOOKS LIKE A WONDERLAND,,, JUST WANTED TO SHARE.. FRAN

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS GUY??? I WAS LOOKING AT TV, WHEN MY HUBBY CALLED ME TO THE KITCHEN. SHOWING ME WHAT HAD LANDED ON THE BACK PORCH RAILING. NOW, THIS GUY IS NO STRANGER AROUND HERE, LAST WEEK HE WAS SITTING IN THE PINE TREE I WENT OUT TO SEE HIM , AND HE LOOKED AT ME AND WAITED A FEW MINUTES BEFORE HE FLEW AWAY. HE SURE SCARES THE HECK OUT OF THE BIRDS. THE ONLY THING , I DIDN'T LIKE WAS THE WAY HE WAS LOOKING AT MY FISH POND THAT WAS RIGHT DOWN BELOW HIM. HE BETTER STAY AWAY FROM THEM !!! WELL, THATS THE NEWS FROM DOWN IN THE COUNTRY!!(LAUGHING) FRAN