HE PERFECT WAL-MART GREETER

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you've got there - are they twins?"
The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7.
Why the hell would you think they're twins?........ Do you really think they look alike?"

"No," replies the greeter. "I just couldn't believe that someone would have slept with you twice

Now as "Larry the cable guy" would say,,
"NOW, THATS FUNNY I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY''
Come on you can laugh, out loud,, no one will hear you !!!
Fran (laughing)!!!!!!!!!!!

ALSO, TO YOUR SISTERS WHO EVER
AND WHERE EVER THEY ARE !

Subject: Sisters
A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter."Don't forget your Sisters," she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. "They'll be more important as you get older.
No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.
"Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives, too."You'll need other women. Women always do.
"What a funny piece of advice!" the young woman thought. "Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!"
But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about.
As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life.
After more than 70 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:
THIS SAYS IT ALL:
Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.
BUT.........Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...
Or come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our life!
The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I.
When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead.
Nor did we know how much we would need each other.
Every day, we need each other still.
Pass this on to all the women who help make your life meaningful. I just did.
Short and very sweet:
There are more than twenty angels in this world. Ten are peacefully sleeping on clouds. Nine are playing. And one is reading her email at this moment.
TO ALL MY SISTERS,, THOSE I KNOW AND THOSE I DO NOT KNOW,, BLESS YOU ALL!!
SHOW THIS TO ONE OF YOUR SISTERS....... FRAN

I, FRANNY , being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in th e hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers / doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
Glass of wine
Chocolate
Margarita
Chocolate
Martini
Cold Beer
Chocolate
Chicken fried steak
Cream Gravy
Chocolate
Mexican food
Chocolate
French fries
Chocolate
Pizza
Chocolate
Ice Cream
Cup of Tea
Chocolate
Chocolate
Sex
Chocolate
It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.
THATS MY STORY AND I'M STICKING TO IT!!!! ARE YOU LAUGHING YET????

THIS IS THE NEW ADDITION TO OUR FAMILY,,,AS YOU MAY KNOW FROM READING MY BLOG WE LOST OUR DOG OF 13 YEARS, SEVERAL YEARS AGO.
SO, NOW WE HAD DECIDED WE MISSED HAVING A DOG. SO AFTER PUTTING UP SOME NOTICES AROUND ,
I GOT A CALL FROM A GAL WHO HAD RESCUED THIS DOG FROM A LADY WHO "HATED" HIM. HE HAS BEEN A HANDFUL, BUT HE IS ONLY 7 MOUNTHS OLD.
A BORDER COLLIE, AND WE HAVE NAMED HIM BUDDY OR BUBA,, WHICH SEEMS TO MATCH HIM AT TIMES!!!! WISH US LUCK, HE SURE DOES KEEP ME BUSY!! (LAUGHING) IT IS LIKE HAVING A YOUNG CHILD IN THE HOUSE.. YOU KNOW PUT EVERY THING AWAY, SO HE DOESN'T CHEW THEM,, HE LOVES SHOES ,.,,
BUT LIKE ALL THE OTHER DOGS WE HAVE HAD OVER THE YEARS, WE WILL GROW TO LOVE HIM VERY MUCH, I AM VERY SURE ABOUT THAT..
JUST THOUGHT YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW ...FRAN

GO PHILADELPHIA EAGLES !!!!!!!!!!!
LOVE NEW ORLEANS... BUT PHILLY NEEDS TO BEAT THE SAINTS!!!
GO EAGLES!!!!!!
We deserve to go to the super bowl !!!!!
GO EAGLES .. GO !!!!!!!
GOOD LUCK TO PHILLY !!!!!!

WHERE WOULD YOU BE:

IF -YOU HAD ALL THE MONEY YOUR HEART DESIRES?
IF -YOU HAD NO WORRIES?
IF - YOU CAME HOME AND THE FINEST MEAL IS AWAITING YOU?
IF - YOUR BATHWATER HAD BEEN RUN?
IF - YOU HAD THE PERFECT KIDS?
IF - YOUR PARTNER WAS AWAITING YOU,
WITH OPEN ARMS AND KISSES?
SO, WHERE WOULD YOU BE?


HELLOOooo!!!!!!!!!
YOU'D BE IN THE WRONG HOUSE!

OR MAYBE YOU WOULDN'T BE,,,, FUNNY???? I THINK SO,,, FRAN

This really says it all !

Life on the Train

PLEASE GO TO THIS SITE.. TURN YOUR SPEAKERS ON AND SPEND A FEW MINUTES READING THE MEASSAGE .....IT TRUELY SAYS IT ALL,,,,,,,,,, FRAN