AuntieFrancysPlace

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION . "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL . "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC . " Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT . "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY . "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM . "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother! taught me about STAMINA . "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER . "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY . "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE . "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION . "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY . "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE . "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP . "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR . "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS . "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS . "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WIS DOM . "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." And my favorite:
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE . "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"